Unplugged and Plugged

There is nothing I want to write about.

I got sick last week.
My daughter threw up in the hallway and I had to clean it up with a mop,

A big splash of pink and beige with pizza roll bits in it soaking into the oak floors.

It smelled like vomit.
It was vomit.

She lay on my bedroom floor all night.

She vomited six times, on the hours, into a small bucket.
She turned 13 in October.
She really is growing up fast.
What could I do for her, anyway?
We've all been there, with our faces in the bucket.

Except, I did take the bucket away each time she was finished retching.
Flushed her bile down the toilet.
Six times.
Well, five.
The first time I had to mop it off the hardwood floors.

I felt so bad for her,

Because, I've been there.
I would have traded places with her if that were possible,

But, since it's not, I just didn't see any reason for me to get sick too.

I kept waiting for the onset of nausea.
The back of my neck got a little warm and achy.
I had a headache right behind my eyeball.

My joints felt weak.
I swore I had a fever.
I lay in bed all day, waiting to feel like vomiting.

But then nothing happened.
Except, in the morning, I had diarrhea,

And then again in the afternoon.

After that I didn't feel like eating for about a week.

But I ate anyway,

And I just kept feeling bloated.
Then, Thanksgiving came,

And all my brothers and sisters came down to visit,
Bringing vanloads of kids to my house from all over the Midwest.
A couple days later everybody was vomiting, and having fevers, and making diarrhea.

I wish I could have stopped it all.

I felt sorry for everyone,
But at least it went easy on me this year.
Last year, though.
That was a different story.
I lay in bed for eight straight hours,
Feeling at every moment that I was going to die,

And vomiting yellow bile into a bucket,
On the hours.
Ram Dass taught me to be present in my illness,
To accept it as a teaching, a psychedelic experience,
So I did.
But my head hurt really bad,
And I had a bad case of the shivers.
(But, "Be Here Now.")
So, I did.
Which helped,
A little.

Today, I have a little drainage in the back of my throat,
And I think I'll probably have a cold until Christmas.
Maybe I'll buy some zinc lozenges at the grocer's before work,

Hoping that will stem the tide a bit.

Earlier this week, I couldn't get out of bed for three days in a row.
I almost didn't get up in time for work one day.

But I didn't feel sick,
Not nauseous, at least.
Now that my throat hurts, I couldn't sleep all night,

So I got up early and wrote this.
I haven't felt like writing, though,

Not for a couple weeks.

Still don't.